As I burn apart

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as I burn

Take it, take it all, but,give me back the person I used to be, give me back my dreams, give me back my inner peace. At the least,those wings you chopped off from mine. Or else, You better should have stabbed me to death. My brain is burning, My soul sintered, but i promise myself, never again, not for you, not for any one else, you indeed have burned me. Your sin, was but the strangling of mine, as you laugh,your sins are burning my skin, plucking out my ribs, shaking my palms relentlessly, your lies are grinding my bones.You have entrapped me in to my own fortress of introversion. Don’t laugh at me, Let me die in peace, And be reborn.

Soul speak 2

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എന്റെ പ്രണയം നിന്നോടല്ല,
കാരണം മഞ്ഞിലും മഴയത്തും,
ഞാൻ ഓര്ത്തത്‌ നിന്നെയയിരുന്നില്ല.
എഴുത്തിനെ ആയിരുന്നു,
ഇരുട്ടിലും മൂകതയിലും ഞാൻ തേടിയത്
എഴുത്തിനെ ആയിരുന്നു,
എഴുത്തായിരുന്നു എന്റെ പ്രണയിനി,
തലച്ചോറിൽ അഗ്നി പടർന്ന നിമിഷങ്ങളിൽ,
ആശ്വാസത്തിന്റെ നുറുങ്ങു വെട്ടം,
റേഷൻ ഏർപ്പെടുത്തിയ ബോണ്ട്‌ പേപ്പറും,
മഷി പേനയും ആയ ഏതോ ഒരു നിമിഷം,
ഞാൻ വേദനയോടെ തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞു,
എന്റെ ആശ്വാസം നിന്നിൽ അല്ല,
എഴുത്തിൽ ആയിരുന്നു.
എഴുത്തായിരുന്നു എന്റെ പ്രണയം.


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I am not a slave because I READ,
I am not a slave because I CAN UNDERSTAND,
I am not a slave because I CAN REFLECT,
I am not a slave because I AM NOT IGNORANT,
I am not a slave because I CAN THINK,
I am not a slave because I AM NOT NESCIENT,
I am not a slave because I AM CONSCIOUS,
I am not a slave because I SPEAK UP,
I am not a slave because I AM AWAKE.


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I stay awake this night,

Though caffeine runs through my veins,

And my brain floats in the air,

Curses and Enchantments are broken,

Spell bound I struggle through this night,

Eyes red caught in fire,

And my mind race like a Wolf,

A two faced black wolf leap through the air,

I breath slowly as the wolves slay fate and Despair,

As I am set free in dimensions,

Grit grow larger like a jinn,

And my inner voice whisper to move on,

That yesterdays don’t define me,

Telling life as it is driven by a mysterious force,

A force of might and pain,

Which shreds the blood and gore,

Of the past which has no soul,

And telling Life is defined by,

The unknown tonight and tomorrows,

Which are set free in my perceptions,

And I am ready to find a reason,

A little word called dreams.

A reason to make me happy everyday.


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In the deepness of my mind,

There is thunder,firestorm and silence.

As I walk towards the unknown,

I am the  Knight and I am the Serpent,

Through this compelling duality through which I walk,

And the wizard will frantically dance to the end of this night,

As the reflections and reverberations of my past,

Are Emerged and incinerated in this wave of insight,

A fire of grit born in my struggle,

As I walk  tranquilly,

There is olive,roses and grape wine.

In both sides of my path,

Where there is butterflies,bees and sparrows.

I am blessed,

This night I am reborn.

(The fourth anniversary of Ink,thoughts,coffee…my deepest gratitude to all my readers.)

: )


The departure

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And today I board the train again,

That in some moments will take me long away,

Far away from all melancholy and the revulsions,

The shadows of the past i strive to leave behind,

As I have been struggling for a long time,

Strangled and ruined inside voids and tormented in to the vacuums,

And the things were berserk and complicated in existence,

And weeks and days seemed like mere survivals,

Like adrenaline or morphine and aspirin,

Randomized unstable linear series of labyrinths and chaos,

Like the acrid ice meltingly dry as it hovers over the fire,

Impatient and aggravated I am right at this moment,

But through every moment I am hopeful too,

To see a black puffy engine in the horizon,

Peering through the chilling bleached grey snow

As I continue to abide at this second platform,

And I shut my eyes trying to focus and forgive,

To forget and to let go off the acidic thoughts,

About aching moments and hallucinogenic halos,

From the oppressive days I seek relief,

My breath is flawlessly broad and steady,

As the ghosts of the past hover over my consciousness,

Like the dark evil hallows around snow clad hallway,

Brunt bashing to outcast the peaceful silence,

To which I desperately try to drag my mind,

Pursuing for a good reason to tell myself,

To heal the deep wounds imbued into my heart,

And in few moments my last resort will come,

To save me from all the sickening vagueness,

The days will be sunny again one day,

And then one day I will find the harmony,

I have been yearning to figure out,

Sooner or later I will be home…

The Relief

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We think everything will be ok,

We think everything will be over one day,

Yet we forgot to think about everything,

As the journey gets longer under the sun,

And the clock ticks gently through the time,

We forgets to think who we really are,

And we believes in something,

Lies covered in hatred and ego,

And the pain weights out of pride,

Always Everyday and each moment,

When the scars gets deeper and darker,

And we wish to scream like ghosts,

As we go dwell in between things,

Inducing wellness in to the fatigue,

And each day will appear like another liability,

As we forgot living the god  blessed life,

The chaos will fill our mind’s voids ,

Like the lamb black smudging over glass,

We will start hating the ghost of  our pasts,

As it follow us and byte like snakes,

And soon the dawn will be dark,

The evenings will be silent and cloudy,

And where should the faith remain ?

Where should the hope survive ?

Or is it just life?

Why does the dear god condemn on  us ?

When he promised us love and mercy,

Our minds sinks in to questions,

Question with no answers to tell,

And we have answers within our minds,

With no queries  to assume,

Time is the only answer,

Hope is the only relief…

The Hitch hikers

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After all noises in pink,white and grey

Beneath the hats of the mystrious,charming and dangerous,

And again from the oddest minutes and darkest moments,

Just like another message bottle thrown away for the unknown.

Our life melts like wax in the candle flame,

And we venture and experiment with it,

Fight and act the best on our part like drama queens,

Forgetting to forgive and breath sometimes.

Time ticks in cute,clear and crystal like ways,

And we hike through the unknown highways.

Towards the distant valley seen like a grey shadow in the mist.

Giving up promises to keep and the way of trusting the other one.

Instead of the weaver we acts like designers,

Making things concrete and artificial,

And we create chaos in the middle of imbalance,

To stand like rulers of our self claimed tiny worlds.

Before even speaking out the truth,

Which will always remain as the truth,

We will justify our selfish motives,

That no one did hear us in the corridors.

We have started forgetting the paths we passed by,

That how to remember the place where it all started for us,

And the words of our great god fathers,

And people yesterday laid their sweat and blood.

 Each day we find new lies for our reasons,

And will protect those heap of garbage,

Like the cobra safe guarding the gem,

We stand above house of cards of our lies.

Will we ever look back to the path we passed?

To see that it have vanished like vapor,

And realize that our little lies have created,

An evil monster which eats us slowly each day,

Pain or Relief…but please not both.

We have to choose one day…

The River

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The sun lets its Silver rays on my window panes,

And today the day seems never ends,

As days feels like years now,

And clock seems never clicks,

Starring to my calendar as I stand,

It feels like hard to go on in suffocation,

Like pushing a heavy cargo away,

And I stay silent in the low light,

Breathing slowly like Turtles,

Hearing the hissing sound of my rooms fan,

As the thoughts are heavy to carry,

For a heavy heart in the middle of deep green river,

Drowning for nothing but no cause,

As I still stand on the same road,

Where people come and gone,

Like Fireflies do in the dark voids of the thin air,

And sometimes I wish I could go back,

To the day we sat on the tree branch,

Where entire lawn lied like a sea,

Where birds chirp and chatter,

And I wish I were the one,

The one who could leave thee folks,

To start everything over,

Just like the Miley Cyrus Song,

Leaving behind the all the hurting memoirs,

And tales from the other bank of the river,

I feel like hanging on a rope,

Waiting for a train to come and take me,

The train that will take me long away,

The train that I know will never come,

Remembering the words of paths not taken,

But I have decided to stay,

That I have some choices and chances to take,

To dye each day or to live each day,

I have decided to live and let live,

And I know that I am not the only one to stay back in to woods,

So I let the river to flow and cleanse me,

And take me to wherever it goes,

Sometimes life is better like messages of bottles from the sea,

As it is better to bury the past as deep as I can do,

And grab the future that I have right in my palms,

I can smile as much I wish whenever I need it a lot,

To seek the hidden truth is all I have to do,

To unfold the unknown mysteries of my life,

I know this is the best feeling I ever have,

This is Safe heaven that I can hold on…


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Today I remember those days,

The days just went away like splattered rain drops,

I remember those moments that I never recognized,

And right now I don’t have words,

The words to express what I am feeling.

I know I am not broken,

I know I am not alone today,

But I don’t know what I am feeling,

Everything got reasons and is for good reasons,

My mother always says and may be right she is,

Everything happens have reasons,

And sometimes those reasons point us destinies.

Today I have hope,

Today I have some dreams to see,

But I am missing the reason which made me dream and hope,

The reason which made me good from evil,

The reason which inspired me to live.

I am not weakened,

Because I have promises to keep,

And debts which can only repaid by time,

Life has taught me how to walk alone,

That how to be good myself in the middle of all peril,

I have started to believe the corridor I followed was right,

And is the best one for me,

Maintaining the voids around me,

I must go ahead,

Choosing the right path from the cross road I am standing,

And now I have realized my goals,

That our goals are important than our dreams,

I don’t know to where life will lead me,

May be I have to lose in my way,

But I know I won’t give up my fight this time,

That to dare is the way to kill my fears,

Keeping the smile in my heart,

I will go ahead …