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I know, its been a year since hold on,I was going through a kind of transformation.Some perspectives changed, Some concepts stood in my mind.A brand new mind in some ways.I read some books, content varying from WW2 to Leadership,from feminism to Romance,from Islam to Illuminati.There was shaping of mind from superiors in my company, there was inputs from mentors, friends and family.I did some random journeys, I think have I changed.Being positive,peaceful and inspiration seeking is a new way of living for me.I never wrote a single word for past one year, I believe in this words…

There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity….
…But after this descent into yourself and into your solitude, perhaps you will have to renounce becoming a poet (if, as I have said, one feels one could live without writing, then one shouldn’t write at all). Nevertheless, even then, this self-searching that I as of you will not have been for nothing. Your life will still find its own paths from there, and that they may be good, rich, and wide is what I wish for you, more than I can say.                         

(Letters to a young poet,Rilke)

I would like to say thanks to meiro,dhakshi,evilnymph and jyothis(aka madone :-)) for their continuous care and support,This are the people who I know, loved my poetry.Unlike many people I cant write poetry from inspiration,all my poetry is self centered,echos and reflections of an artist in my mind,whom I had to desert for good reasons.And even today I stand by this statement that what I did is the right choice.Art is one side of my character,to find beauty and gratitude in everything I see,the other side of me is a Techie,someone who loves to solve day to day life problems through electronics and programming.I am grateful to both sides of my mind.May be one day,I will write poetry again,Sometimes we find ourselves vulnerable in the middle of no where,I always think about vulnerabilities and strengths,but not as the exact opposites to each other,because sometimes passion,creativity and love may be our strength and sometimes they may be our biggest vulnerability.So what is best is to choose between them by rational thinking,use of the good brain god has given us.

I was afraid to let down people,in the past,that is why some used and throw me like a shampoo bottle,learning from mistakes,I am not any more afraid of being called as tough.The weak has no place in the world,weakness is just a reflection created by our minds.I probably have learned much about relations and companionship,don’t break trust and promises and never break a heart without a good reason,Never give a promise that you cant keep and you cant practice compassion without being compassionate to yourself, is my theory.

I had to stop the habit of seeking approval from people for what I am,If  Its important for us to be what we are and what we intend to be,then go for it,there is no one in this world who know us better than ourselves ,all answers are within us or we will eventually seek and reach them…


4 thoughts on “awakening

    Dakshi said:
    March 17, 2014 at 6:07 PM

    Life is not easy and it crushes us sometimes. But always believe there is more to life. We are not alone. People we never thought exist, help us to come out from our unseen fears. Believe me, God is there for us, in many forms… 🙂


      Colourfade responded:
      March 17, 2014 at 8:09 PM

      yes dakshi,i believe,god is with me,i am not alone. 🙂


    Marianne said:
    April 13, 2014 at 7:09 PM

    Go inside,God dwells in you. Do not consider yourself weak. Kindness is not weakness. When We are gentle, it gives a chance for God to show his power, because we turn it over to him. It is written , ” His strength is made perfect in our weakness”.


      Colourfade responded:
      April 13, 2014 at 7:11 PM

      some times we are helpless,some times we make ourselves helpless. 🙂


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