Listening to the Rain

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How many months, how many days…I have lost the track. I thought I will be strong ,I thought  will find peace ,I was angry with you for leaving me alone, I wanted to show that I can live without you…I was addicted to the loneliness. Yes, Rain…It’s a drizzle, the sound, isn’t it  soothing, like filling every inch of emptiness with the sound of each drip…For how long will it work…Let it be raining, forever…Desert, so this is why people call loneliness so…I feel like every  inch of my heart longed for this rain…

Without a good bye, you left…leaving me broken and fragile, you said,we will talk soon,you will call often, you said can’t stand missing me.And you promised you will never leave me alone…I wonder what happened to the promises we made each other, Where should I bury this memories ? Where should I hide this feeling…yes, I try to be busy 24×7,just like you pretend every day…making me speechless…or dumb ? And the alcohol works well, at the end of the night, my brain spins and I play truth or dare with the emotions every midnight…I have cried a lot, that my tear glands have stopped working…only that hinge in my throat hurts, I understand this is why people say heart is inside chest, dear,its so hurting, but it’s OK… It’s been many days.

Dear, have you really forgot me, will I be left alone forever…Why don’t you understand that I am lost, without out you I can’t live…why am I crying when I see your photo, smiling…life feels empty, Apartment seems so big, hours are like days…static. When I walk, every spot in the city reminds me about you, the moments we shared, I feel like alien whenever I go to the park, like I don’t deserve to be part of the society, like I am an outcast…hearing the sound of thunder, I think I have sunken in to the ocean of thoughts about you, this slow drift memories. And I understand, everything changes when times passes, I am so stupid, a thoughtless freak,without any priorities,as you said. But, dear this stupid also have a heart, though silly and senseless, a broken one…May be some more days, may be some more weeks, I will manage as you said, this old stupid classless feelings…Wherever you are,stay happy…Live…

Dear,Khudha hafiz.

9 thoughts on “Listening to the Rain

    meiro said:
    November 1, 2012 at 8:46 PM

    Stay blessed Nithin.

    Love,
    mei

    Like

    aboomersvoice said:
    November 14, 2012 at 12:24 AM

    This surprised me. I wasn’t ready for such depth. You write with beautiful images. You will heal. Time has a way of changing feelings and thoughts. Then somehow, we morph into a new beginning, only to realize it once we have arrived

    Like

      Colourfade responded:
      November 15, 2012 at 11:25 PM

      🙂 thank you for your words…

      peace,

      nithin

      Like

    ssrijana said:
    November 18, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Beautiful images in words..

    Like

      Colourfade responded:
      November 22, 2012 at 9:43 PM

      Hi ssrijana,

      thanks you,keep coming.

      Like

    dreamtheimmpossible said:
    December 19, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    Can feel it right there..! wonderful post..!

    Like

    dreamtheimmpossible said:
    December 22, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    Hey its supriya, no Jyothi..

    Like

      Colourfade responded:
      December 24, 2012 at 1:47 PM

      Oh,I beg your pardon,Supriya.

      Like

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